5 Reasons Why You Are The Reason You Keep Getting Hurt

love, relationships, sex, dating, millennial relationships

We all have that friend, the one who complains that love isn’t real, the one who always blames the guys for her tears. Here’s the thing though, it’s usually her fault. She’s the girl who keeps going for the same type of guy or even the same boy.  Well, send this to her and hopefully my blunt ways that have lost me friends will help her.

I’ve watched it time and time again with my friends. Let me set the scene for you.

You’re with your friends either out or having a casual night in and you meet a boy at the bar or even on a dating app. After just a few words exchanged, you’re hooked. You start to grow more distant from your friends because you’re too busy countering all his quick remarks. You might even be thinking is he a probability?

Flash forward to a couple days/weeks of texting back and fourth and you’re sure this is about to go somewhere but it doesn’t and here’s why….


  1. You’ve ignored all the signs. During the playful conversation you ignored all the red flags. You only saw what you wanted him to see because you were so focused on if he was the one that you didn’t take the time to see if he wasn’t the one.
  2. You refuse to listen. Your friends hate this person. It’s not for their own selfish reasons but because they knew you before this boy and they see the stress you’re going through because of him. Whenever they give you advice you just won’t listen to it because you believe they’re wrong. Let’s be honest, sometimes the guy you’re going for even spells it out but you are too stubborn to quit the chase.
  3. You don’t love yourself first. We hear it all the time, “You need to love yourself before you love someone else.” If you don’t love yourself first you will put up with a lot of crap that you shouldn’t be putting yourself through. Love yourself and treat yourself with respect so others do to!
  4. Your type is unavailable. You like the thrill of the chase. The asshole guy is your type. You’re putting in the time and effort for a guy who is never going to reciprocate it. Going for the guys that are unattainable is only going to end up with you hurting yourself.
  5. You’re scared of love. This is so cliche to say but is it possible you’re doing all these things because you’re afraid to be in love? You’re ignoring the signs, you refuse to love yourself, you go for unavailable guys because you have been hurt before. In order to protect yourself you go for these guys you know won’t be the one but the fun..

If you find yourself shaking your head up and down for even one of these things you need to stop, listen, and consider it for the next time. Your friends and family hate to see you cry. You deserve to be wildly in love, stop setting yourself up for failure.