I’m Not Sorry

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I will fully admit, this post might just be because it’s 7am and I haven’t had a sip of my coffee yet but I’m fed up.

I go to a local coffee shop in between my apartment and my work every single morning. The baristas know my order, my first name, and probably even my last name. It’s safe to say I know how this coffee shop works. The other morning, just like every morning,  I walked in, got in line, and waited my turn.

Right before I was the next one up in line a women comes up to me and says “I’m just going to go next, we were here, waiting but we were sitting down.” What did I say? I said “Okay, I am sorry!” Sorry? Sorry?! Why did I say Sorry? I wasn’t in the wrong. I followed the standard practice of this coffee shop, really any coffee shop.

It got me thinking, how many times a day do I say I’m sorry for things that really aren’t my fault? The answer is a whole heck of a lot. I am a chronic apologizer. I’ve decided it stops today. I am going to fit the constant urge to apologize. Here are 5 things I am done apologizing for.

 

  1. I’m done saying sorry when someone else bumps into me.  How many times have you said “I’m sorry” when someone else bumps into you? You know exactly what I am talking about. Most times this person doesn’t even say sorry back even though they have done the bumping.
  2. I am done saying sorry for telling the truth. Growing up my dad always told me to tell the truth. I am bad at lying, even white lies. I am done apologizing for telling you the truth.
  3. I’m not sorry for standing up for what I believe in. I try to always speak up when I feel something is wrong and most of the time, it gets me in trouble. I don’t know if it’s a side effect from always telling the truth but I jump in more often than I should and I always follow up with a sorry. I should be able to be proud for standing up for what I believe in, not apologetic.
  4. I am done being sorry for your bad attitude. Whenever someone is in a bad mood, I swear it’s in my DNA to try to cheer them up. I try a little bit harder to crack jokes, to smile, anything to brighten up their day. Usually, it’s greeted with attitude and abruptness. As soon as someone starts getting short with me I always feel the need to apologize to them like my pleasantries are an inconvenience to the world.
  5. I’m not sorry for leaving you on read. I have my “read” receipts on my Iphone and when I am at work I leave a lot of people on read. Almost always I will start my next message back to them with “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you, I was doing XYZ…” I’m done being sorry for getting caught up in life vs my phone and not getting back to you.

As people we truly tend to apologize for things that are out of our control. We need to stop it. We all assume that something that causes an inconvenience in someone’s life that we are involved in that we are automatically at fault but the thing is, we are not! Sorry isn’t the magical word that will fix everything.

To the lady at the coffee shop, I didn’t need your attitude at 7am because you don’t know how  lines work. I should not have let you go in front of me just like you shouldn’t of let your young daughter see you act so entitled. However, I would like to say thank you for forcing me to reflect on my avid need to apologize.

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